The master’s tools have done everything possible to ensure women are deemed weak, no matter their age. What are “the master’s tools?” They are systems of power and domination such as sexism and racism that continue to hold women down labeling them as “less than men.” This has worked for many years and is still happening today, though feminists are successfully chipping away at this socially constructed belief.
How have I been affected by these tools and systems of oppression that have been put into place? I have always been a very opinionated person, which has been repeatedly encouraged by my mom. She inspired me to be opinionated because it was based on my passions, but the boys and men around me would always categorized me as ‘aggressive’ and ‘annoying.’ I would be eight years old and eager to have political conversations with anyone who reciprocated my interest or was willing to have a conversation with me. However, it was a rather small group because I was either ‘too young’ or ‘too girly’ to have an opinion regarding heavy topics.
Why was I silenced and who, what, where, and when will people start taking my thoughts seriously? Audre Lorde stated in her book Sister Outsider, “Of course women so empowered are dangerous.” I was forced to silence myself until I could find my outlet.
Soccer was the outlet for all of my feelings until around sixth grade when I joined my middle school’s co-ed team. I was the only girl throughout the three years l was on the team. I felt trapped in this toxic environment because it used to be my safe space but now no one on the field had trust or confidence in me.
Was it solely because I was a girl? Did they think I was not strong enough? Not good enough? The real question is why it hurt me so much, they were just boys at the end of the day. It hurt because I knew I was better, but I still let them think I was worse and weak. Why did I play with the master’s tools? Many of them knew that if they passed the ball to me and gave me a chance to score that I might take their starting position. They had control over how much time I played, even at a young age, little boys still had the power. I remember the timid feeling of being on the field, scared to even touch the ball in case I did something wrong. Then everyone would would think it was my mistake. At the moment, you feel as if this is the biggest thing that is happening in the world, even though in reality, it’s only you focusing on it.
Since being a part of an all-girls soccer team in high school, soccer is once again my safe space. I have been able to reconnect with my previously lost voice from middle school. However, even though we have won two championship soccer games in the past two years, I have refused to let anyone attend my games, due to my fear of disappointing my family, friends, and others. Looking back at the situation, it has shaped me to prevent silencing myself again. There are so many ways that women are put down systemically in this country and worldwide. Even by our friends, family, and ourselves as well. We have been constructed to believe that this is normal, but in reality, it is the opposite. The sad thing is that the sports industry is just one example of where sexism is an ongoing occurrence, happening in most, if not all workplaces, schools, and relationships.
An Athlete’s Body Image In High School
Playing soccer since I was five years old has made the physical aspects of my body change over time. The most blatant attribute were my big or muscular thighs. When I began to notice this in middle school I started to wear big pants so that no one would notice them. I was ashamed that I did not look like the other girls in the grade. I was taller than all the boys and I had broad shoulders and I just wanted to be tiny. I would do everything in my power to hide these ‘flaws’ not just with clothing but also by considering quitting soccer. I was worried that boys would not find me ‘pretty’ or ‘cute’ like how they thought of my friends around me, I wanted to attract the ‘male gaze.’
Now that I’m in high school, I notice that boys have the expectation girls should have big boobs or a big butt, which leaves your personality and interesting qualities lost along the way. This causes you to lose yourself, leaving you to focus on only your appearance, not your smarts. I catch myself doing this all the time, feeling miserable because I am not enough. Picking out what I need to change about myself to be seen as ‘desirable’ to the male gaze.
This has affected my mental and physical health. What gets lost along the way is that you can change yourself as much as you want, but what you lose is not worth the gain. Losing yourself, friendships, and overall self-respect isn’t worth being considered ‘cool’ and ‘desirable.’ You’re only in high school for four years. It is not worth your time to try so hard to peak in high school. In reality, you are supposed to grow academically, socially, and physically throughout your college and adult years. Then become the best version of yourself.
I always tend to give my friends advice when it comes to body image, even though often I would not listen to it until my friends began saying, “You need to start listening to your own thoughts.” That was when I began to change the way I perceived my athletic and muscular body. I came up with, “your self-worth is way more than how sixteen-year-old boys rate you.” Some days are better than others, but it is a process that is different for everyone. In addition, Audre Lorde writes, “I find I am constantly being encouraged to pluck out some one aspect of myself and present this as the meaningful whole, eclipsing or denying the other parts of self.” Even if you do try to change yourself, you are not whole without your ‘flaws.’
The Future is Now
To prevent future athletes from going through this exhausting lifestyle of constantly hyper-fixating on their bodies in ways that they can’t change, we need to normalize different body and beauty standards. Athletes should have someone to look up to that is considered pretty and attractive, however, might not be blonde, with blue eyes, and skinny. We need more diverse appearances in the sports industry to help unlearn these bad habits that there is just one beauty standard and there shouldn’t be one at all.
The USWST (United States Women’s Soccer Team) has spent years trying to spread body positivity and inclusivity over time. However, when young fans see Alex Morgan posing in Sports Illustrated as a swimsuit model, it perpetuates the idea that this is what women athletes need to look like. Even though this might have not been her intention, young girls will continue to compare their bodies to women in magazines. This is why diversity in the sports world is extremely necessary. In addition, they need to recognize their own personal body image and work on making sure it is healthy. If you catch yourself or a friend picking on their powerful bodies, remember that “any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That’s their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood,” says Gloria Steinem. They will need a “sisterhood” to get her through the hardest times.
